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Ode to the Great Auk

Salutations to everyone with a yearning
To objectively optimize your learning.
Here's a way to bone up faster,
Aptly entitled Knowledge Master.
The Great Auk is your omniscient host,
Uniquelier qualified than most
To summarize knowledge common and rare
In the form of questions extraordinaire!
He's been on practically every quest,
Worked every problem along with the best,
Been everywhere, read every word--
Pretty astounding for an extinct old bird!
Why, he was there at Waterloo,
Sought the Yeti at Katmandu,
Cast off Columbus when he set sail,
Led knights looking for the Holy Grail.
Took photographs at Kitty Hawk,
Spoke for John at Plymouth Rock,
Ate some cake from young Marie,
Charged at windmills with Quixote.
Observed the planets with old man Tycho,
Told the crew that Queeg was psycho,
Surveyed construction of the Great Wall,
Hung around Rome for its rise and fall.
Napoleon Bonapauk
Interpreted the Rosetta stone,
Connected Alexander's telephone,
At Appomattox he stood with Lee,
Punctuated Hamlet's soliloquy.
At Marathon he was the timer,
He split atoms with Oppenheimer,
Painted the Sistine Chapel walls,
Pitched mighty Casey his first three balls.
Built coordinates with Rene Descartes,
Saw the mighty Red Sea part.
At Fort McHenry he watched the fight,
Built Ben Franklin's very first kite.
In fact he's had the chance to study
Virtually everybody.
Victor Hugo and Robespierre,
Rabelais, Dante, Lavoisier,
ShaukspeareGeorge Washington Carver and Hugo Black,
Katherine Anne Porter, Jack Kerouac,
Whittaker Chambers and Simon Legree,
Poe, Quasimodo and Madame Curie.
He's traveled almost everywhere
From Canterbury to Scarborough Fair,
Mongolia to Borneo,
Adelaide to Morocco.
From Afghanistan to the Baffin Bay,
The Auckland Islands to Uruguay,
Istanbul to the Bering Sea,
Yokohama to Dijbouti.
On and on and on it goes.
It's right amazing how one Auk knows
So many people, events and things,
Especially considering his flightless wings.
Sir LancelaukBut the most important thing for you
Is that everything he knows, you can too!
It's all here at your fingertips
Directly through his twelve-inch lips.
Here's your chance to capitalize
With this intrepid bird, so wise.
With him you'll sure get most ingredients
That make for super-high achievements.

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